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As long as you continue to view his decision to have an affair as him doing something to you, you remain his victim. Your ego is involved when it shouldn't be. Affair Recovery: 10 Steps · Step One- Cease all contact · Step Two- Open all accounts · Step Three- Show remorse · Step Four - Process the hurts · Step Five- Discuss. The hurt partner starts to piece together the incidents from the past, and the reality gradually emerges. There is apparent anger about the betrayal, hurt for.

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The hurt partner starts to piece together the incidents from the past, and the reality gradually emerges. There is apparent anger about the betrayal, hurt for. So almost everyone feels betrayed, used, abandoned, and very angry when they discover that their spouse has had an affair. After all, an affair is hatched. Believe it or not, this type of delayed anger is very common. Often, in the very early days of finding out about the affair, many people just go into survival.

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Typically, anger after infidelity is a secondary emotion. Behind the veil of anger, you will often find feelings of guilt, inadequacy, fear and/or hurt. Anger. Anger is the most difficult thing to manage, and process after infidelity. That has been my own experience, as the betrayed spouse, and trying to empathize with. Affair Recovery: 10 Steps · Step One- Cease all contact · Step Two- Open all accounts · Step Three- Show remorse · Step Four - Process the hurts · Step Five- Discuss.